I Want My Axe Back
by ShadowDrake
Summary: AU- sort of. This is all the result of the author having insomnia and watching the opeing credits one too many times and wondering just why Buffy has that possessive look while holding that axe. Think Buffy in the Real World... sort of. Has implied Buf


Title: I Want My Axe Back (1/1)  
Author: Shadowlander  
Email: Shadowlander1@gmx.net  
Disclaimer: I do not own of the characters commonly associated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer; they belong to others and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.  
Summary: This comes from staring at that one image of Buffy in the opening with her axe one too many times. :) Okay so I got bored again... shoot me.  
  
I WANT MY AXE BACK (1/1)  
  
"Shadow!" The small compact slayer pinned the current source of her irritation to the nearest wall with one hand, "where is my axe?" She all but growled, tightening her grip for a brief moment, only to have her victim disappear in a flash of light, "Hey, no fair using teleportation!"  
  
"Well no fair trying to use me for a pin cushion!" a voice said from behind the Slayer, "besides those things don't work on me... I'm not a vamp, you want the Jersey Vamp Vixen, and she's up in, well... New Jersey." Shadow said dropping down into her computer chair. "What makes you think I have it anyway?"  
  
"Fungus demon... cut into very little pieces."  
  
"You know that could have very easily have been Quin's doing," Shadow replied with a grin, "however since I know perfectly well he was out keeping an eye on a mutual annoyance of ours, so it couldn't have been him." She finished with a smirk, "as it was I did kill that fungus demon, but with my own axe thank you very much. Maybe Willow took it."  
  
"Now why would Willow take my favourite axe?"  
  
"To get it sharpened! I don't know she's not my little witch... but if she was", Shadow continued with a grin.  
  
"You leave Willow alone", Buffy growled, "you do strange enough things to her as is."  
  
"No that would be that Joss guy... you know poodle-boy", Shadow corrected, "I notice how I'm not even mentioned anywhere in that little series."  
  
"You so sure? You could be the model for Drusilla", Buffy questioned crossing her arms over her chest to stare at her old friend.   
  
"Now that one was low", Shadow replied, "after all we have been through together you compare me to an insane vampire who talks to dolls! I do not talk to dolls... I talk to myself thank you very much. It's crowded enough in my head without adding new voices." She grumbled, pouting a bit at her friend.  
  
"Do you know where my axe is or not?"  
  
"You do realize oh noble chosen one that I do have better things to do then go around stealing you favourite axe... right?" Shadow asked, after a moment. "I got a certain werecat that REALLY wants to get back to purring with her mate."  
  
"You know... I really wish you hadn't of told the whole damn planet about that." Buffy hissed, blushing a bit over that one little post she happened to stumble upon by accident while looking through Shadow's inbox.  
  
"And I can't believe you were reading my mail... there is such a thing as privacy you know."   
  
"You don't count", Buffy replied, "you're like family to me... I can read your email."  
  
"Right... you're still mad because I told about the book cage thing, aren't you?" Shadow shot back, turning to face her old friend. "It's not like anyone is ever going to believe any of it. I mean hell I did put in the Jerkelus, now that is a vamp that is completely fiction. Like a real vampire would lose its soul after sleeping with you... the vixen didn't."   
  
"There is no proof I slept with her... and will you keep it down? You know Willow doesn't like to be reminded I've had other lovers." The Slayer hissed, temporarily distracted from thoughts of her missing axe.   
  
"And whose fault is it that you mated with a possessive Brahan anyway?" Shadow questioned, "I'm just trying to tell the real story here."  
  
"By putting us in Sunnydale?"  
  
"Yeah, right... like they are going to want to hear the total truth about the whole Slayer thing... they are not ready for that and you know it." Shadow grunted, "look its bad enough that Joss guy is out making up stuff from what little he does know. But really... I have got to draw the line at having you getting physical with huckleberry. You know what it took to restrain Wills that night? She trashed the "playroom" and most of the lower level... and that was AFTER we pumped three tranquilizer darts into her. Which reminds me... you still have to replace my stereo system."   
  
"And Willow was out of it for the next three days too!" Buffy growled back, remembering how frustrated she had gotten in that time. Was it really a crime she had gotten used to having her life-mate cuddle up with her and purr as they both drifted off to sleep?   
  
"She wanted to go on a killing spree in Hollywood, I had to do something. That is NOT the way to tell the world about us, having Willow kill off all the males that touch her life-mate on some television show. Yeah that is 'SO' going to help our cause." Shadow grumbled rolling her eyes. "Face it, while you have gotten used to Willow's less-then-human moments kissing her while she is covered in blood still has a certain 'ewww' factor with you."   
  
"Can we not talk about kissing Willow covered in blood?" Buffy asked, turning a bit green at the memory of doing that very thing one night after a particular bloody slaying, she never did figure out that possessed her to do that in the first place.  
  
"Fine, I'm not the one that goes for the purring furry type... and I still don't know where your axe is. What is it with you and that thing anyway?"  
  
"Merrick give it to me", Buffy said, as if that explained it all and in a way it did. Shadow knew how protective Buffy was of her first Watcher's memory. Recalling that Willow wasn't the first friend she ever had to tranquilize to keep from going on a homicidal killing spree. 'Gods that was a really bad movie', she thought with a shudder.  
  
Letting out a defeated sigh, "Fine I'll help you look for it... where did you last see it?" she asked getting up and reaching for her shoes, she just knew it was going to be a long night, she could just feel it in her bones. "And you better not say 'in the sewers', because I am SO not going down there AGAIN for you, it was bad enough I had to carry you and Wills through them that last time you played 'lets get captured THEN kick the bad guy's ass'.... I really hate that." She complained as she followed the Slayer out the door pausing only to grab her leather jacket.  
  
"I think I had it with me in the old mansion... or it could have been in the bunker."  
  
"Great... my other two least favourite places... what exactly is it with you and fighting demons in big haunted looking houses and underground bunkers anyway? Don't you have any slayer pride? Whatever happened to the nice dungeon or even castle?" Shadow demanded, throwing one leg over her Harley and reaching for her helmet.  
  
"This is AMERICA, Shadow, not Europe... please come into the twenty-first century with the rest of us?"  
  
"What? So I'm a traditionalist... I want to do my slaying in the proper setting, shoot me", she grumbled before kick starting her motorcycle, once her helmet was in place.   
  
"Oh I want too, I really want too, but I doubt I could get away with it", Buffy mumbled under her breath as she started her own bike.   
  
~I heard that!~ a voice growled in the Slayer's mind as the two headed out.  
  
"I really hate when she does that!" Buffy growled, gunning the bike with a shake of her head.   
***********************************  
  
Six hours... twelve vamps and four chaos demons later -  
  
"I can't believe you did that!" Buffy said, following Shadow back into the warehouse that served as both slaying headquarters and Shadow's home, the two covered in dust and slime.  
  
"What? You wanted your axe back didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah... but did you really have to insult those chaos demons to do it?" Came the near shouted demand.   
  
"What? All I asked was which one of them was Dru's lover in the series?" Shadow replied with a grin, feeling very pleased with herself over the nights activities. They had found Buffy's prized axe and got to kill something, what more could the slayer want from her?  
  
"Shad, we are not that only ones embarrassed about the TV show... Chaos demons do not have antlers and are not slimy", Buffy calmly explained for the hundredth time, at Shadow's raised eyebrow. "Okay they aren't slimy unless you gut them", she amended, "happy?"  
  
"Why yes... actually I am", Shadow replied, practically bouncing off the walls with unused energy. "We got to kill a few demons and got your axe back... although why you had left it in that old closed down meat factory is STILL a bit curious. I don't remember any of us slaying in a meat factory before?"  
  
"I didn't... the last time I had it we were fighting that werewolf... the factory must have been his lair."  
  
"Really? What was your first clue? The dead werewolf on the floor when we got there?"  
  
"I see you two have been out having fun without me?" a new voice said interrupting the next round of good natured insults the two had been slinging at each other since leaving the factory and all the dead Chaos demons that had laid claim to the Slayer's axe.   
  
"Oh no, don't go growling at me Wills... Buff lost her prized axe and wanted me to help find it, you know how she is about it... I think she loves it more then she does you at times", Shadow replied to the young werecat who was staring at the Slayer with a feral glow in her green eyes.   
  
"Ah.. Wills?" Buffy said in a little voice easily recognizing the look in her mate's eyes, it really wasn't all that hard to miss, after the fourth time of being jumped by the werecat after a particular hard slay, she learned to spot the warning signs of a frisky mate. Last time Willow barely let her cross the threshold into the warehouse before she was pawing at her clothes and sticking her tongue down the Slayer's throat. Not that Buffy overly minded, she just wished that Willow would have waited until they had gotten into their room first. She just knew that Shadow would be relating that little tale to all of her online friends sometime in the near future... she would do it too just to watch the Slayer blush. Not that Willow minded her love life being broadcast over the internet, she just saw it as telling the world how much she loved to see her mate naked. 'Damn frisky cat', she ruefully thought, visibly gulping as Willow started toward her.  
  
"Shadow... go away", Willow purred, her eyes locking with her mate's. She didn't like coming home and finding her mate gone, only to come back several hours later covered in dust and slim with Shadow. 'Those two have way too much fun without me at times'.   
  
"Gotcha!" Shadow replied with a wicked grin, "See you in the morning Buffy... if Wills let you out of bed". She said in parting, disappearing in a flash of light. She really did have to get back to work on a few so-called "fanfics". 'Hmmm, I wonder if I REALLY should start telling the truth about Buffy and the gang in my works?'   
  
The End.  
  
Well... questions, comments, suggestions? Aside from that one to not work on anything when I've had insomnia for the past three nights. I did come to that conclusion all by myself. ::rotfl:: 


End file.
